Obsessed.

I think I’m almost to the point where I can say it officially. I am obsessed with the idea of creating Bowl Meals. The concept is just stupidly easy; 1 starch (whole wheat, of choice), a protein (lean as possible and utilize your beans and legumes here), a sauce of some sort (in my opinion, a great way to use fresh veggies to create something to use for flavor), and 2 veggies of varying colors (try and get your dark leafy greens in here…and if you’re like me, get as many veggies in as possible). I mean, how much simpler can it get?

Right now I’m trying to prep things that I can just reheat to throw together for simple meals and lunch throw-togethers. I’m enjoying making dinners at the moment, so I don’t mind making things fresh. It’s been cathartic working with food again. I forgot how much I loved the process of creating a meal. Tasting things as you go, adding a little of this or that, smelling the compilation of ingredients coming together,and having a beautiful meal to serve at the end. I’m also getting back into food styling, too. Not professionally or anything, at this point. I just like putting everything together and displaying it in a way that is attractive to the eye. I even bought a couple new bowls today to more properly display my Buddha bowl meals and each ingredient utilized. I’m hoping Ryan won’t think it’s silly. I doubt he will, though. He’s just happy to see me having some sort of passion return, whatever it may be.

I’ve been struggling for the past year with some mental health issues(I know, you already know this). That being said, I’ve lost all love of anything. My passion for food and cooking faded away, knitting stopped completely, walking the dog was gone, spending time with family has even lessened. The things that made me, me were just gone. I sleep. That’s where the passion has been. Sleeping. All.THE.TIME. I’ve been functioning at a lower level the last couple of months, after having 6 really good months. It’s frustrating. Like unbelievably frustrating. I needed to stop, take a step back, and reevaluate where I am.

First of all, I decided to slow down with work. When I’m at my 100% best, I LOVE what I do. I’m passionate about the care and insight I’m able to provide, and more importantly feel like I help make a difference. I crave being at work when I’m at my best. I talk about my work a lot when I’m away from it…all the time. Enter in the problem. Work consumed my every being. I was working all the time, taking things home with me, letting them affect me, overtaking my life. It’s not a healthy work-life balance to maintain and I got mixed up in it…leading to falling backwards to about 50% functioning.

So that’s where I am now. Trying to stop the backwards motion and nip it in the bud before it gets bad…dark and scary. I’ve been making major efforts to make changes in my life to be more mindful of my every day. I created a bullet journal to track things throughout the day, to keep me and my emotions in check. It gives me something to look at everyday and make goals, set challenges, appreciate the little things, and how to be more mindful throughout the day. I’d really recommend having this type of journal to those interested in starting to journal. It helps make you accountable to something, without the pressure of figuring out what to say. (Yea, it’s kind of the latest Pinterest obsession…but I’m all on board that train.) Check out today’s entry below!

I’ve changed (or making changes to) my diet. I’ve been pretty diligent since Sunday to make these things happen for Ryan and I and I’ve been working at hard to make sure we are supplied with nutrient-dense foods. I’m hoping that maybe with the supplements I’m on, plus the improved diet, plus the mood tracking, plus the added in exercise (at some point soon, I hope), will offer me positive results that I can maintain. That’s the hard part, though. Maintaining everything once I’m working full-time and having a life. Everything is on pause right now for me to regain my self control. I really hope it stays this way when everything is back to normal. Normal. What is that?

As for dinner tonight, I decided to do a beef and bean burrito bowl. Included is peppers and onions, homemade cucumber pico de gallo, brown rice, greek yogurt, avocado, and a little spicy muenster cheese we picked up from Eastern Market.(Check it out below!) I can send along the recipe I created if anyone is interested, but it’s pretty straight forward! Ryan just got home from work, so I’m signing off to go eat and spend some quality time with him.

Have a happy night, y’all!

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